RageLaugh.com Weekly Awards 8/21/11 – 8/27/11
It’s been a great week. I’m having more fun up here than I expected. I took lots of pictures, which I’ll probably post here in the near future. Anyway, here’s the awards.
Tweet of the Week
@JimNorton said: “I’m sitting next to an attractive woman. I want put my phone to my ear and start loudly complaining about rape laws.”
Picture of the Week
This pic was part of H. Jon Benjamin’s (Sterling Archer) tweets called “Spot the dildo”.
YouTube Video of the Week
Asshole of the Week
Sports fans are an easy pick for my assholes of the week. I’m a sports fan, yet I don’t feel like this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
I’ll start with the minor offenses. What gives some of these morons the feeling of superiority, because the team they CHOSE to root for beats another team? Did they themselves go out there and score the winning touchdown? Of course not. They certainly act like they did though. Just because you like the Green Bay Packers and I like the Denver Broncos doesn’t mean that since your team won the Super Bowl, while mine is a cellar dweller, that you’ve achieved something over me.
And Yankees fans… Oh dear sweet Yankees fans… You guys are the worst fans of them all. I love it when these bandwagoning jerkoffs try to legitimize their loyalty by playing the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon to associate themselves with the franchise. “Well granted, I am from Houston. But, my parents took a trip to New York while my mother was pregnant with me, and they drove through Bronx on their way to get pizza, so I really identify with the Yankees.”. The only thing that these people “identify” with is every other phony piece of garbage who wants bragging rights that they don’t even remotely deserve. People who aren’t willing to go through the highs AND the lows of their favorite sports team are not fans at all. They’re shallow, insecure people who need some sense of superiority in an otherwise empty and lackluster existence. Oh yeah, and Red Sox fans are the same as Yankees fans, just a cheaper, mildly retarded version. Sort of like RC Cola is to Coca-Cola.
Now to the real problem with sports fans. Rioting and violence in general. Like I said, I’m no pothead. But if you want an example of why I think that marijuana should be legal, and that consuming alcohol should require a license that can be revoked should you do moronic things when intoxicated, look no further. If these maniacs were high instead of drunk, they wouldn’t fight, and the only place that would get looted is Dunkin’ Donuts. Even then, the people would still pay.
And am I the only one who notices that fans are rioting win or lose these days? If the Lakers win the championship, people riot. If the Canucks lose the Stanley Cup Finals, people riot. Why don’t you admit that you’re not rioting because of sports, and that you’re rioting because god damnit, you want to flip a car over, since none of the women at the game will even notice you, since you reek of desperation. These people aren’t getting laid, so they’re violent.
Remember this picture? The Vancouver kissing couple? I rest my case. That guy was getting some action, so he didn’t feel the need to act like a complete asshole, ruining what is known to be a beautiful city. You give most men the option of fight or fuck, and most will take fuck, assuming that it’s not a total hag.
I already addressed the fans in LA and San Francisco, who took stupidity to it’s maximum, by beating people senseless. One guy was put in a coma, with permanent brain damage. The other was in critical condition. For what? It’s supposed to be FUN. Anyone remember that movie “Green Street Hooligans”? It was about soccer hooligans. Yeah, the main hooligan DIED. I don’t think I’ve ever cheered more during a movie than when that punk got beaten to death. Anyone who takes it to the level of violence at a sporting event deserves a beating of epic proportions.
Person of the Week
I love Doug Stanhope. He’s one of my favorite comedians. I ranked him 10th on my list of favorites, and after seeing him on Louie, and after the way he’s reacted to recent incidents, I’d put him up to at least 5th, and maybe even 3rd.
Here’s the deal, Stanhope did a rant about Sarah Palin, and her son Trig, who has Down’s Syndrome. This routine happened in 2008, and some people still aren’t over it. Here’s the clip, which many people will find offensive, and which I think is hysterical.
In August of 2011, 3 full years after the bit took place, the Down’s Syndrome Association of the UK took action against the BBC for promoting Stanhope’s material on the radio. All that actually happened is that a radio host was interviewing Stanhope, and told listeners that if they would like to hear the Sarah Palin bit, that it is on YouTube. Here’s the 21 second clip that the association is in an uproar over. Hopefully the link works. I’m doing this from my phone.
Anyway, from a 21 second audio clip that contained nothing offensive, the association urged listeners to not listen to BBC radio. Not only did Stanhope not make any apologies for anything he’s ever said, he released this statement on his Facebook page.
To clarify – DJ only referred to a Palin bit w/o saying anything else. I just wrote this to the site @ firstname.lastname@example.org saying in part ‘The best and highest use of your organization’s webpage is to give me publicity? How dare you pretend this is about you helping people rather than about your own personal, ego-driven agendas. Remember, you are supposed to be caring for victims, not making victims of yourselves. You are reprehensible.’
Doug Stanhope, I salute you! For more about my feelings on this topic, you can read my article “GLAAD to be Unapologetic”. In short, I’ll say this. No comedian should ever apologize for saying anything on stage, no matter the topic, because the intention is to entertain people with laughter. I don’t want to be that guy who brings up the first amendment of the constitution (the routine took place in Philadelphia), but if need be, I would.
That’s it for me tonight. We’re about to make s’mores by the campfire, and people are looking at me funny, wondering what this “cell phone” thingy is. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m Al from “Quantum Leap” and pretend my phone is Ziggy. Having a blast in Minnesota though! I get back home Tuesday, so I’ll see you guys soon.