The Winner is Amazon by Default

I wouldn’t say I’m an avid book reader, but I read a few books a year, at least. If something interesting comes out, I’ll pick it up. As far as all of this fiction stuff goes, I’m not really into it. I get my fill of made-up stories from tv and movies. When I read, I’m more a fan of a good biography, or humor. That’s not the point of why I’m writing this though. It’s just a brief introduction to what I read during my free time.

My bookstore of choice, Borders, bit the dust recently. They closed all 4 Tampa stores, but everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before they went completely under. That took all of 4 months to happen. They announced the closure of their Tampa stores in February, and by June, Borders was no more. It’s a shame too, I really liked their stores. Oh well, when one falls, another pops up eventually.

Barnes & Noble is right down the street from Borders, so naturally I started going there instead. I never really liked their stores much, to be honest. But hey, I’m just there to get a book, and move on. Their layout just seems odd to me. Very stuffy and cramped. I prefer the layout of Borders, but as long as the book that I came for is there, I can buy it and get out. I don’t understand those people who get a book, buy a cup of coffee, and sit in the store reading it. If I want to read, I prefer doing it at home where I can fart in privacy. That’s just a matter of preference though.

The thing that really seems weird to me is the people that go to the book store to write. I write more often than I read, nearly on a daily basis, and I have never gotten the urge to pack up my laptop, and go to Barnes & Noble to write my screenplay. I really believe that people who go out to write something are trying to impress the surrounding people. If your life is that bad where you feel the need to go out in public to write, I feel bad for you, but whatever. That’s not the point of this either.

Ok, enough about my preference in stores, and on to why I’m wasting my time writing about books. I went to Barnes & Noble to pick up 2 books on the way to work. I wanted Big John McCarthy’s book, “Let’s Get it On!” because it’s an inside scoop on the development of the UFC, from someone who’s been there since the start, even before Dana White. I also wanted Paul Provenza’s book “¡Satiristas!” which is about comedians. Both are popular books, the former coming out just yesterday.

Now, I’m not going to lie, I have a hard time finding my way around these Walmart-sized bookstores. So, I eventually found the new release section, but couldn’t find McCarthy’s book. Befuddled, I went to the autobiography section, which I’ve been to before, and didn’t find it there either. I figured that I’m a moron, and went on to the humor section for Provenza’s book. I figured that I could find at least one of the books, and ask for help finding the other. Provenza’s book wasn’t in the humor section. I took it that I’m just blind, and didn’t worry about it. I’m not a very proud man anyway, so I went to the help desk to have someone assist me in finding the books. The girl at the counter was very nice, and willing to help me out. I first asked her about ¡Satiristas!, and she looked it up for me. It was out of stock. She offered to order a copy for me that I could pick up in a couple of days, and I politely declined. I can’t stress this enough, I was very polite. Never take anything out an employee of a business that they have no control over! You’re only making yourself out as the asshole when you do this! I simply asked her about McCarthy’s book instead. She looked it up and told me that it came out yesterday (I thought it came out today), and that it was sold out. I won’t lie, on the inside I was screaming “Fuck!” because I really want to read this book. She again suggested that I order it and they’d have it delivered for me, and again I politely declined.

Why the hell would I order something to be delivered to Barnes & Noble for me, when I have an app on my phone that has it cheaper, and will deliver it to my house? Was I wrong to think that Barnes & Noble would take advantage of the fact that they have the bookstore market cornered, and order more than 2 copies of new releases? I walked in and saw piles of Bristol fucking Palin’s “memoir” on a table, yet no books that contain actual information. What the fuck has Bristol Palin accomplished that makes her think that she’s worthy and capable of writing a memoir?! She shot out of her cunt of a mother’s cunt, got knocked up by some dipshit named Levi, and fired a baby out of her own cunt, and became a cunt in the process, by being on “Dancing with the Stars”, then having plastic surgery. I would rather read a book written by Trig Palin, and he’s 3 and has Down’s Syndrome.

Anyway, I hate to be someone who goes with the flow, but I think online shopping is becoming the way to go. You get stuff cheaper, it’s seemingly always in stock, and it only takes a couple of days to arrive on your doorstep. I’m not going to be a complete asshole, and boycott Barnes & Noble though. If I’m out and about, and feel like browsing around for a book, sure, I’ll stop in. But, if I know of a book that I want to read that isn’t out yet, you bet your sweet ass that I’m going to Amazon and preordering it.


About malf922

33 year old married guy. I write about whatever is bouncing around this head of mine at any given moment.

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