Top Ten Snacks to Keep Away From Me Because I Will Eat All of It

I haven’t done a list in a while, and I’m working with limited time today, so now is a good time for one. Before I start, I have to say that I’ve gotten some readers that I don’t know personally, and I’m absolutely thrilled about it. Thanks for reading, newcomers! You’re making me a very happy person.

10 – Chicken in a Biskit crackers

These things are awesome. I forgot that they even existed for the longest time, then I saw them at the grocery store, nabbed them up, and it was like rekindling an old flame…. if I was single. Pair them up with Laughing Cow cheese for a match made in heaven.

9 – Starlight Mints

The weird thing about these is that I hardly even acknowledge that I like them. But, if you leave a bunch sitting next to me, those suckers are gone. It’s like I subconsciously wander back to them, and keep eating them.

8 – Almonds

If I have to be specific, I love the Blue Diamond Wasabi & Soy Sauce flavored almonds. Blue Diamond has a bunch of flavors though, and most are pretty damn tasty. It sounds so fucking cheesy, but I really can’t eat just one. It’s impossible for me.

7 – Andes Mints

My favorite part of going to a hotel as a kid was getting these on my pillow. I got them a couple of years ago as a Christmas present from my mother in-law, and I was a very happy camper.

6 – Baked Lays

Best chips ever. I don’t even care what flavor they are, I’ll eat them up. I’m not huge on potato chips either. But, if you put a bag of these in front of me, say goodbye to them.

5 – Chocolate Chip Cookies

It’s pretty much the norm; we all love them, and we all know why. They’re delicious. Homemade is the best, straight out of the oven. Give me a plate of these and a big glass of milk, and you have a new friend for life. Yep, that’s all it takes!

4 – Brownies

Basically take everything that I said about the cookies, and apply it to brownies as well. People like to bring a bottle of wine to a friend’s house when invited over. As much as I enjoy a nice glass of wine, I’d rather have cookies and/or brownies. Maybe it’s the kid in me.

3 – Cashews

Best nut ever, period. I like macadamia nuts, pecans, peanuts, and the aforementioned almonds very much. But for my money, if I’m going to have nuts in my mouth, I’d like it to be a cashew. Pun was obviously intended.

2 – Land & Sea Market Cajun Crab and Cream Cheese Spread

It tastes even better than it sounds. If I want to grill steaks at home, I go to Land & Sea usually. I have never left Land & Sea without a tub of this stuff, and a bag of corn chips to dip into it. The chips are really just for appearance though. I could easily just use a spoon and be fine with it. If you live in Tampa, do yourself a favor and go to Land & Sea and pick some up. I guarantee that you’ll love it. If you don’t, I won’t give you your money back, but I’ll gladly take the rest off of your hands, free of charge.

1 – Chocolate Covered Pretzels

I really just made this list so that I could tell everyone how much I love chocolate covered pretzels, in hopes of getting some as a gift. I try not to stuff my face with them on a daily basis, but it’s an uphill battle. I once had a girl that I was seeing leave town for college. She stopped by to see me before departing. She gave me a bag of these. I was almost in tears. It wasn’t because she was leaving either. I was just so happy to have some more chocolate covered pretzels! For my 30th birthday, my wife made me a chocolate chip cookie cake, with chocolate covered pretzels lining the outside. To this day it’s my favorite birthday cake that I’ve ever had, along with being one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received. Oh yeah, Flipz are good, Snyder’s of Hanover dips are the best, but harder to find.

Alright, that it for me today. Weekly awards are tomorrow, and I’m still looking for candidates. Please send me some ideas, I look forward to your input. Thanks for reading!


About malf922

33 year old married guy. I write about whatever is bouncing around this head of mine at any given moment.

3 responses to “Top Ten Snacks to Keep Away From Me Because I Will Eat All of It”

  1. mooselicker says :

    I agree with almost all of those. I can’t buy stuff like this because I WILL eat them in one sitting. The Chicken in a Biskit are a classic favorite of mine that I miss dearly. I also know how addicting the Andres Mints can be.

    No wonder I was a fat kid.

    • malf922 says :

      Haha, tell me about it. The only reason I’m not even heavier than I am is because I have a decent metabolism. Thanks for reading man! I gotta check your blog out when I get home tonight. I read your illuminati article and really liked it.

  2. Thomas Stillwell says :

    Mixed nuts are just Cashews with obstacles.

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