9th Annual Fantasy Football Draft

This is what we play for. Well, this and bragging rights for a year.

Yesterday we held our 9th annual fantasy football draft, and as always, it was an absolute blast. Draft day is now officially my favorite day of the year, since Pete decided to invite scumbags over for the New Years Eve blowout we have. I mark my calendar for draft day, and study my ass off to try to assemble a good team. I usually draft well too. Managing my team is a different story. Last year I had 4 of the top 8 picks in this year’s draft on my team, but I got cocky and traded Foster away and blew my chance at the championship. I have won the championship once, back in ’05. 1 out of 9 isn’t that bad, but I’m hungry for another, and I really want that sexy ass trophy on my desk.

I’m going to post draft results for our draft round by round, pick who I think the winners and losers for each round were, and what I was thinking with each of my selections. By the way, don’t think that I’m a guru or anything. While I do know my shit when it comes to this, I’ve been known to make a reach for players that I have a gut feeling about. Sometimes I feel brilliant, other times I want to slap myself. This is just a draft amongst friends, and the commissioner’s point of view. My team, Team Craptacular, picks 9th. We have standard scoring, and start 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Team Defense, 1 K, 6 bench, no flex, no PPR.

Round 1
1. Michael Vick(Phi – QB) Pirate Monkeys
2. Adrian Peterson(Min – RB) Creeps
3. Jamaal Charles(KC – RB) The Last Resort
4. Chris Johnson(Ten – RB) Earl’s Gone …
5. LeSean McCoy(Phi – RB) Balls and Shaft
6. Aaron Rodgers(GB – QB) They Call Me…
7. Ray Rice(Bal – RB) Mr McGibblits
8. Arian Foster(Hou – RB) Gubernaculums
9. Michael Turner(Atl – RB) Team Craptac…
10. Maurice Jones-Drew(Jac – RB) NoleRattlers
11. Rashard Mendenhall(Pit – RB) Murder Boners
12. Andre Johnson(Hou – WR) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: There’s no big winners or losers in the first round really. I’ll pick Gubernaculums as the winner since Arian Foster slid down to him at 8th due to a hamstring injury. If he’s healthy he should be a top 5 player.

Loser: Again, nobody really lost. I’ll go ahead and say NoleRattlers is the loser since the Jags just cut Garrard, and teams are going to stack the box against MJD.

What I was thinking: After I got the reality of Vick somehow sliding to me out of my head, I put together a list of 3 possible picks for me, Rice, McCoy, and Turner, in that order. Luckily, Turner made it to me. His age scares me a bit, since he’s 29, but he was a stud last year. Nobody gets more goal line carries, and nobody is harder to tackle. I’m satisfied with my pick.

Round 2
1. Calvin Johnson(Det – WR) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Steven Jackson(StL – RB) Murder Boners
3. Felix Jones(Dal – RB) NoleRattlers
4. LeGarrette Blount(TB – RB) Team Craptac…
5. Frank Gore(SF – RB) Gubernaculums
6. Tom Brady(NE – QB) Mr McGibblits
7. Greg Jennings(GB – WR) They Call Me…
8. Ryan Mathews(SD – RB) Balls and Shaft
9. Darren McFadden(Oak – RB) Earl’s Gone …
10. Roddy White(Atl – WR) The Last Resort
11. Matt Forte(Chi – RB) Creeps
12. Hakeem Nicks(NYG – WR) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: I think combining Calvin Johnson with Andre Johnson makes Ctrl-Alt-Defeat the winner here. He got the top 2 recievers onto his team. That’s just as good as 2 solid running backs, if not better.

Loser: Balls and Shaft. Ryan Mathews isn’t worthy of that pick. I can name a bunch of players that I would take ahead of him, most notably being Darren McFadden and Larry Fitzgerald.

What I was thinking: I was thinking “Thank you for letting Blount slide to me!” I was totally in love with this guy, to the point where I said on Saturday that I was considering taking him in the first round, making him the biggest first round gamble that I can remember. I don’t even like the Bucs, but he’s a 23 year old, 6 foot 250 pound stud who can run you over, or jump over you. I had to have this guy.

Round 3
1. Mike Wallace(Pit – WR) Pirate Monkeys
2. Drew Brees(NO – QB) Creeps
3. Larry Fitzgerald(Ari – WR) The Last Resort
4. Reggie Wayne(Ind – WR) Earl’s Gone …
5. Philip Rivers(SD – QB) Balls and Shaft
6. Peyton Hillis(Cle – RB) They Call Me…
7. Mark Ingram(NO – RB) Mr McGibblits
8. Mike Williams(TB – WR) Gubernaculums
9. Miles Austin(Dal – WR) Team Craptac…
10. Anquan Boldin(Bal – WR) NoleRattlers
11. DeSean Jackson(Phi – WR) Murder Boners
12. Brandon Marshall(Mia – WR) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: Balls and Shaft came back strong in the third, nabbing who I think will be the best passer in the NFL this year. All Rivers does is put up 4,000 yards a year. He’s got some serious weapons to throw to.

Loser: They Call Me C.K. taking Peyton Hillis is going to hurt him I think. Teams know about him now, and he has Hardesty chomping at the bit to take his job. There were better options out there at this point.

What I was thinking: “Fuck I wanted Rivers!” He was my quarterback of choice, and he went 4 spots ahead of my selection. I took Miles Austin because he was the best reciever out there in my eyes. I had my eye on someone else as well, but…

Round 4
1. Jahvid Best(Det – RB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Jeremy Maclin(Phi – WR) Murder Boners
3. Santonio Holmes(NYJ – WR) NoleRattlers
4. Vincent Jackson(SD – WR) Team Craptac…
5. Ben Roethlisberger(Pit – QB) Gubernaculums
6. Dez Bryant(Dal – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. Ryan Grant(GB – RB) They Call Me…
8. Dwayne Bowe(KC – WR) Balls and Shaft
9. Wes Welker(NE – WR) Earl’s Gone …
10. Antonio Gates(SD – TE) The Last Resort
11. Chad Ochocinco(NE – WR) Creeps
12. Knowshon Moreno(Den – RB) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: They Call Me C.K. saved his own ass by taking Ryan Grant here. If Grant stays healthy and doesn’t lose his job to James Starks, he could be second round value in the fourth.

Loser: Gubernaculums is my loser by far here. Big Ben in the fourth? I’d imagine that he could have made this homer pick in the sixth and gotten more talent before taking this QB.

What I was thinking:….My second option at reciever slid! It was between Austin and Vincent Jackson in the third, and I ended up with both. I think I made out like a bandit here. Rivers racks up yards better than anyone, and this guy will get the bulk of it.

Round 5
1. Shonn Greene(NYJ – RB) Pirate Monkeys
2. Marques Colston(NO – WR) Creeps
3. Tony Romo(Dal – QB) The Last Resort
4. Peyton Manning(Ind – QB) Earl’s Gone …
5. Percy Harvin(Min – WR) Balls and Shaft
6. Jermichael Finley(GB – TE) They Call Me…
7. Ahmad Bradshaw(NYG – RB) Mr McGibblits
8. Brandon Lloyd(Den – WR) Gubernaculums
9. Jason Witten(Dal – TE) Team Craptac…
10. Matt Schaub(Hou – QB) NoleRattlers
11. Kenny Britt(Ten – WR) Murder Boners
12. DeAngelo Williams(Car – RB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: The Last Resort. If Tony Romo had slid to me, I would have drafted him. He’s healthy, and he has weapons. Austin, Bryant, and Witten are all going to do well, and Romo is the guy who delivers the ball to them. Add that in with the fact that their running backs aren’t spectacular (yet, I think Jones might have potential), so they’ll be passing a lot. Good pick. Shonn Greene could be great for Pirate Monkeys too, but he’s a bit risky.

Loser: I’m really not a fan of Gubernaculums recieving corps up to this point. Mike Williams as your #1, and Brandon Lloyd at #2? Lloyd was big last year, but new Coach John Fox runs a ton. That’s why Williams and Stewart were so great in Carolina when healthy. You can argue that Steve Smith excelled in Fox’s system, but is Lloyd that good? I don’t think so. We’ll see.

What I was thinking: Jason Witten was more consistent and was a much safer choice over any reciever at this point. I knew I needed a QB and #3 wideout, but I felt that Witten was too good to pass on at this point. He could end up being the best tight end this year, which wouldn’t surprise anyone.

Round 6
1. Vernon Davis(SF – TE) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Josh Freeman(TB – QB) Murder Boners
3. Jimmy Graham(NO – TE) NoleRattlers
4. Kevin Kolb(Ari – QB) Team Craptac…
5. Plaxico Burress(NYJ – WR) Gubernaculums
6. Julio Jones(Atl – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. Stevie Johnson(Buf – WR) They Call Me…
8. Santana Moss(Was – WR) Balls and Shaft
9. Sidney Rice(Sea – WR) Earl’s Gone …
10. Cedric Benson(Cin – RB) The Last Resort
11. Beanie Wells(Ari – RB) Creeps
12. Tim Hightower(Was – RB) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: The Last Resort strikes again! Cedric Benson in round six (or “sits”, inside joke) is an insane value. He’s a starting running back who was putting up Pro Bowl numbers not long ago. If he stays healthy, Dalton is going to lean on him a lot.

Loser: I don’t like the Santana Moss pick for Balls and Shaft. I’m a big UM fan, owning a #6 Moss jersey, and a #83 Jets one of him too, but I think his age, along with Grossman/Beck delivering him the ball will hurt his value greatly.

What I was thinking: Not sure if I reached on Kolb or not, but I had to take him before someone else did. He’s boom or bust, but the celing is very high for him. This pick won’t break me, but it could carry me to the playoffs if it pans out.

Round 7
1. Mario Manningham(NYG – WR) Pirate Monkeys
2. Austin Collie(Ind – WR) Creeps
3. Pierre Garcon(Ind – WR) The Last Resort
4. Michael Crabtree(SF – WR) Earl’s Gone …
5. Daniel Thomas(Mia – RB) Balls and Shaft
6. Johnny Knox(Chi – WR) They Call Me…
7. Marshawn Lynch(Sea – RB) Mr McGibblits
8. Jonathan Stewart(Car – RB) Gubernaculums
9. A.J. Green(Cin – WR) Team Craptac…
10. Lance Moore(NO – WR) NoleRattlers
11. Hines Ward(Pit – WR) Murder Boners
12. Matt Ryan(Atl – QB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: I like the Daniel Thomas pick by Balls and Shaft. He’s considered as the best rookie in the league by a few magazines and sites, and Reggie Bush has never carried a full workload. It’s a homer pick, but in the seventh round, it’s a great value.

Loser: It’s either Creeps or Last Resort, depending on whether or not Collie stays healthy. The fact that 2 Colts recievers went back to back, and Peyton Manning being on the shelf is going to screw somebody. I’m leaning towards Garcon being the safer of the 2, but if Collie is over his concussion problems, he has more potential to break out.

What I was thinking: I wanted to take a chance with my third reciever. If Green lives up to his hype, he could be huge. If he doesn’t, I had some backup plans in mind as another option for the #3 slot.

Round 8
1. Reggie Bush(Mia – RB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Dallas Clark(Ind – TE) Murder Boners
3. Mike Tolbert(SD – RB) NoleRattlers
4. Fred Jackson(Buf – RB) Team Craptac…
5. Jordy Nelson(GB – WR) Gubernaculums
6. Mike Sims-Walker(StL – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. BenJarvus Green-Ellis(NE – RB) They Call Me…
8. Davone Bess(Mia – WR) Balls and Shaft
9. Joseph Addai(Ind – RB) Earl’s Gone …
10. Matt Cassel(KC – QB) The Last Resort
11. Mike Thomas(Jac – WR) Creeps
12. Owen Daniels(Hou – TE) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: I have to go with They Call Me C.K. here. Green-Ellis is the only guy on that team who can punch it into the end zone for the Patriots. I don’t think that he’ll rack up the yards, but he could put up double digit scores again. CK will end up starting him over Hillis at some point I think, and he drafted Hillis in round 3.

Loser: Not a fan of taking Bess at this point in the draft. It’s another homer pick, and there were more proven recievers with better QB’s and offenses out there. He has potential to be good, but my gut tells me to not touch a Dolphins reciever this year, unless it’s Brandon Marshall.

What I was thinking: I needed a backup RB, and I was happy to take Fred Jackson here. He’s the starter in Buffalo, and probably the most underrated back in the league. He won’t wow you, but he won’t be a bust if he’s healthy either. It was the safe pick.

Round 9
1. Steve Smith(Car – WR) Pirate Monkeys
2. Matthew Stafford(Det – QB) Creeps
3. James Starks(GB – RB) The Last Resort
4. Marcedes Lewis(Jac – TE) Earl’s Gone …
5. Kellen Winslow(TB – TE) Balls and Shaft
6. Pierre Thomas(NO – RB) They Call Me…
7. Brandon Pettigrew(Det – TE) Mr McGibblits
8. Roy Williams(Chi – WR) Gubernaculums
9. Braylon Edwards(SF – WR) Team Craptac…
10. Joshua Cribbs(Cle – WR) NoleRattlers
11. Willis McGahee(Den – RB) Murder Boners
12. Brandon Jacobs(NYG – RB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: I love the Stafford pick by Creeps. I had my eye on him. If his shoulder problems are behind him, he will produce. He’ll at least be a solid #2 QB option, and maybe a stud. If he hurts his shoulder again though, he’s the new Chad Pennington.

Loser: I don’t like the Joshua Cribbs pick by NoleRattlers at all. His return TD chances took a hit because of the new kickoff rules, and he’s not a great reciever. Add that with the fact that he’s on the Browns offensive unit, and it’s a recipe for disaster, or at least a wasted pick. He probably could have been a free agent pickup I think.

What I was thinking: I took Edwards just to cover my ass in case AJ Green doesn’t pan out. Braylon isn’t going to blow it up in San Francisco, but he will have balls thrown his way. He’s a decent #3 WR, and a good backup at worst.

Round 10
1. Pittsburgh(Pit – DEF) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Tampa Bay(TB – DEF) Murder Boners
3. Green Bay(GB – DEF) NoleRattlers
4. Eli Manning(NYG – QB) Team Craptac…
5. Emmanuel Sanders(Pit – WR) Gubernaculums
6. Bernard Berrian(Min – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. New England(NE – DEF) They Call Me…
8. Philadelphia(Phi – DEF) Balls and Shaft
9. New York(NYJ – DEF) Earl’s Gone …
10. Chicago(Chi – DEF) The Last Resort
11. Danny Amendola(StL – WR) Creeps
12. Malcom Floyd(SD – WR) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: I like the Emmanuel Sanders pick by Gubernaculums, homer or not, but I really like Pirate Monkeys getting Malcom Floyd. He’s a good reciever on a high powered offense. He shouldn’t have slid this far, and was taken at the perfect time.

Loser: Tampa Bay defense in the 10th. They were somewhere around 20th on my list of defenses, but the draft took place in Tampa, so there’s the hometown tax rearing it’s ugly head. There was a run on defenses for some reason, just because Ctrl-Alt-Defeat took Pittsburgh (my #1), so they started flying off the board.

What I was thinking: While everyone was worrying about defenses, I took a 4,000 yard 31 TD passer. If he cuts down on his interceptions a bit, I did great here. My QB worries are taken care of.

Round 11
1. Ben Tate(Hou – RB) Pirate Monkeys
2. Roy Helu(Was – RB) Creeps
3. Lee Evans(Bal – WR) The Last Resort
4. Donovan McNabb(Min – QB) Earl’s Gone …
5. Ronnie Brown(Phi – RB) Balls and Shaft
6. Steve Breaston(KC – WR) They Call Me…
7. Detroit(Det – DEF) Mr McGibblits
8. Baltimore(Bal – DEF) Gubernaculums
9. C.J. Spiller(Buf – RB) Team Craptac…
10. Mark Sanchez(NYJ – QB) NoleRattlers
11. Chris Cooley(Was – TE) Murder Boners
12. Sam Bradford(StL – QB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: I like the Sam Bradford pick by Ctrl-Alt-Defeat. He was great in college, looked good at times as a rookie, and will only be better this year. He has some good young targets too, so he’s a great #2 QB, and big sleeper.

Loser: It’s the 11th round, so taking chances is fine, I’m just not a Mark Sanchez fan. To me, he’s a Mexican Trent Dilfer. Maybe NoleRattlers sees something that I don’t, but I would have taken Joe Flacco or Kyle Orton over him.

What I was thinking: CJ Spiller was a highly regarded rookie last year, and fizzled. I wanted to handcuff my backup, Fred Jackson, and Spiller is a player that could break out. I couldn’t ignore the value of this pick.

Round 12
1. Mike Williams(Sea – WR) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Joe Flacco(Bal – QB) Murder Boners
3. Nate Burleson(Det – WR) NoleRattlers
4. Leonard Hankerson(Was – WR) Team Craptac…
5. Ryan Torain(Was – RB) Gubernaculums
6. Eric Decker(Den – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. Colt McCoy(Cle – QB) They Call Me…
8. Jacoby Ford(Oak – WR) Balls and Shaft
9. Eddie Royal(Den – WR) Earl’s Gone …
10. Deion Branch(NE – WR) The Last Resort
11. Steve Smith(Phi – WR) Creeps
12. Danny Woodhead(NE – RB) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: I don’t like Ryan Torain at all, but round 12 for a running back who could start some games is great value. I think Hightower is the man in Washington, but with Shannahan, you never know.

Loser: I know Creeps likes to take chances, but Steve Smith is out with a serious injury, and even if he was healthy, he’s Vick’s third option, maybe 4th or 5th behind McCoy (big pass catcher) and Celek. I loved him in New York, but in Philadelphia he’s the new Hank Baskett.

What I was thinking: A bit of a homer pick for me, being a University of Miami fan, but Hankerson is a great target with a long frame, and good hands. He may very well end up being the prime target in DC, which really isn’t saying much.

Round 13
1. Jay Cutler(Chi – QB) Pirate Monkeys
2. Jared Cook(Ten – TE) Creeps
3. LaDainian Tomlinson(NYJ – RB) The Last Resort
4. Darren Sproles(NO – RB) Earl’s Gone …
5. Cam Newton(Car – QB) Balls and Shaft
6. Mohamed Massaquoi(Cle – WR) They Call Me…
7. Mason Crosby(GB – K) Mr McGibblits
8. Rob Gronkowski(NE – TE) Gubernaculums
9. Tony Gonzalez(Atl – TE) Team Craptac…
10. Leon Washington(Sea – RB) NoleRattlers
11. Arrelious Benn(TB – WR) Murder Boners
12. Javon Ringer(Ten – RB) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: Earl’s Gone Wild got a steal with Sproles in the 13th. He’s the new Reggie Bush, and possibly better. I also like The Last Resort getting Tomlinson. If he has anything left in the tank at all, he could come in handy in a bind.

Loser: Mr. McGibblets had a quiet draft, but I shun anyone who takes any kicker before the final round. I think he just wanted a shot (first guy to draft a kicker has to do a shot), or at least I hope he did. He knows better…

What I was thinking: I usually don’t draft a backup tight end, especially when I have someone like Jason Witten, but Tony Gonzalez in the 13th? I’ll take it. Trade bait at the very least.

Round 14
1. Lance Kendricks(StL – TE) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat
2. Tashard Choice(Dal – RB) Murder Boners
3. Visanthe Shiancoe(Min – TE) NoleRattlers
4. New York(NYG – DEF) Team Craptac…
5. Nate Kaeding(SD – K) Gubernaculums
6. Louis Murphy(Oak – WR) Mr McGibblits
7. Aaron Hernandez(NE – TE) They Call Me…
8. Neil Rackers(Hou – K) Balls and Shaft
9. Sebastian Janikowski(Oak – K) Earl’s Gone …
10. David Akers(SF – K) The Last Resort
11. Arizona(Ari – DEF) Creeps
12. Dan Carpenter(Mia – K) Pirate Monkeys

Winner: I like a few picks in the 14th actually. Ctrl-Alt-Defeat got the guy he wanted, Kendricks, which could be big, Murder Boners got a solid RB in a platoon, in Choice, and They Call Me C.K. got what might be a TD machine in Hernandez. I’m going to pick CK as the winner, since I think that Hernandez has the biggest upside.

Loser: You really can’t lose in the 14th round, unless you pick a retired player, or someone who is on IR. Even Brett Favre has value here. That being said, I don’t think NoleRattlers has a leg to stand on with Shiancoe. His days catching passes are over with horrible McNabb there, and Ponder backing him up.

What I was thinking: Giants D was my 3rd ranked defense, and I got them in the 14th. I was very satisfied with this pick.

Round 15
1. Miami(Mia – DEF) Pirate Monkeys
2. Garrett Hartley(NO – K) Creeps
3. Greg Olsen(Car – TE) The Last Resort
4. Zach Miller(Sea – TE) Earl’s Gone …
5. Marion Barber(Chi – RB) Balls and Shaft
6. Stephen Gostkowski(NE – K) They Call Me…
7. Kyle Orton(Den – QB) Mr McGibblits
8. Matt Hasselbeck(Ten – QB) Gubernaculums
9. David Buehler(Dal – K) Team Craptac…
10. Adam Vinatieri(Ind – K) NoleRattlers
11. Connor Barth(TB – K) Murder Boners
12. Josh Brown(StL – K) Ctrl-Alt-Defeat

Winner: It’s the last round, what can you really achieve here? I like The Last Resort taking Greg Olsen here. He could be valuable. I’ll pick Mr McGibblets as the winner though, because I think Orton is underrated. He could throw for 3,000 yards and 25 TD’s, which is pretty good.

Loser: Creeps drafted Hartley, who is out for 6 – 10 weeks. It’s only a kicker, so nothing huge, but still a bad pick.

What I was thinking: I could care less who my kicker is. I took Buehler because I like the movie, and because I think the Cowboys will have a lot of red zone chances. Later that same night, he got demoted to kickoff duty only… d’oh!

Winner of the draft: I’m picking The Last Resort. I know, right? Nobody expects much out of this guy, and he drafts this team, probably out of sheer luck. Drafting is the most important part, and managing your team properly wins the championship. If he plays his cards right, he’ll be in the playoffs.

Loser of the draft: I’m not going to pick one loser, because in fantasy football you never know what could happen. But, some people have running back problems already, which is huge. A good RB is almost impossible to come by in free agency, and you have to make sure you lock down at least one decent one in the draft. If you feel that you haven’t, you can call yourself the loser in your own head.

What I’m Thinking: I think my team will get into the playoffs, maybe 5th place or higher. I’d like a first round bye, but we’ll see how it goes. I got who I wanted in Blount, so if that plays out like I think it will, I have a chance to make waves.

I have to give a special thank you to the ladies. Barbara, Tiffany, and of course, my wife Liz for being so cool about having friends over, and even having a few drinks with us. Gubernaculums’ wife just had a baby, and not only was she fine with him hanging out for the day, she even dropped him off and picked him up. Even crazier, Creeps’ wife was 4 days past due with her baby, and even she was fine with her husband playing with the boys for the day. How awesome is that? So yeah, big thanks to you ladies, I notice your tolerance, and appreciate you being cool with me seeing my best buds for a day.

I may or may not post draft results for the auction keeper league that Brian did such a good job of running, depending on if the guys want me to of not. If you want me to, post a comment or let me know somehow. If you don’t, either say nothing or tell me you don’t want me to. As always, thanks for reading guys and gals!

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About malf922

33 year old married guy. I write about whatever is bouncing around this head of mine at any given moment.

2 responses to “9th Annual Fantasy Football Draft”

  1. mooselicker says :

    Vick #1? I listen to an average of 5 hours of Philadelphia sports radio a day and everyone there agrees that although he’s great, he’s going to get his pummeled with that offensive line.

  2. Tiffany Kennington says :

    Thank you for the thanks, you didn’t have to, but either way you are very welcome Tony. I know Donnie really enjoys hanging out with everyone too. It’s good for you guys to have your time.

    Btw, you are by far my favorite asshole 🙂 lol

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