RageLaugh.com Weekly Awards 9/11/11 – 9/17/11

Hello ragelaughers! That’s what I’m calling my imaginary audience now, like it? I do, so that’s what I’m going with. Well 9/11 was last Sunday, did you have fun listening to everyone seize the opportunity to tell their personal story about it? I didn’t. I just sat around playing Jenga all day, and for some reason I got dirty looks the whole time. Ok, before I lose any more readers, I might as well hand out some awards.

Tweet of the Week

@thesulk said: “Let us never forget on this day the heroic men who holy shit TOUCHDOWN!!”

Picture of the Week

Look at the ref’s face during Mayweather’s cheap shot. How dare boxing fans even suggesting that boxing is better than MMA. This guy is one of the sport’s superstars, yet I would rather watch 2 mid-tier MMA fighters go at it. And yes, I’m biased. But my reasons aren’t biased. MMA is just a more exciting and competitive sport. Anyway, I love the picture.

YouTube Video of the Week

This guy has the moves, and the look to go with it. He is indeed epic. Let it run for a few minutes, so that the awesomeness can sink in.

Asshole of the Week

I’m a lifelong Broncos fan, as I said earlier this past week. I remember going to Denver to see the Broncos play the Chargers, and when I walked into Invesco Field I immediately said “These are my people.” It was amazing! We were all on the same side! A stadium in unison is an amazing thing, and something you never see in Tampa. I felt like I belonged there, because I did. I still do belong in Denver every Sunday and the occasional Monday Night.

That being said, Denver fans are being complete babies right now. Chanting “We want Tebow!”‘ during the Broncos vs Raiders was just rude, and somewhat embarrassing. Nowhere near as bad as Tampa fans, but that’s why it’s so bad to me. I expect better from Denver.

And Tebow isn’t even the answer at this point! He’s the third string quarterback for a reason, he fucking sucks. Last year they had to retrain him on how to throw a football properly. Yes, they had to teach their first round quarterback proper throwing mechanics. That’s like teaching a running back how to run. I’d rather see Brady Quinn on the field before Tebow. But it’s not even the quarterback that’s the main problem right now anyway.

Kyle Orton is no John Elway, that goes without saying. Hell, Orton isn’t even Jake Plummer. But he is a decent short-term guy until Denver gets their franchise QB, who isn’t there yet. He threw for over 300 yards in a subpar performance on Monday night, where he had 46 attempts. He had 46 passes because the running game was shit. Denver ran for something like 38 yards as a team against the Raiders, who aren’t a defensive juggernaut. They also allowed 150 yards by Darren McFadden. It seemed like he ran for 10 yards every carry.

Funny though, I don’t see fans chanting for the third string running back, or for a better defensive line. To take a quote from my mortal enemy, the Raiders, I believe in a “Commitment to Excellence”. But Denver fans have to understand that John Elway was a legend, a hero, and a once in a lifetime quarterback. Give Orton a break. I was just as pissed as anyone in Denver, but I place the blame elsewhere. Wanting a new quarterback is generic. It’s something I’d expect from uneducated fans, which many Broncos fans are not. While a new quarterback needs to come at some point, there are more pressing needs that should be addressed first.

And I know that I’ve been doing a lot of sports fan bashing lately. I’m aware of the trend, and I’m trying to refrain when possible. I’ll stop being so critical of sports fans when they stop being so damn stupid.

Person of the Week

Craig Ferguson is my kind of person. He hosts “The Late Late Show” which is after Letterman. I started watching his show when I was on vacation in Costa Rica, because there were only like 5 watchable channels at the hotel we were staying in. I’ve always liked him though. He was also great on “The Drew Carey Show”.

Last night I was reading ¡Satiristas!, and there’s an interview with Ferguson in it. I learned more about him, and I like him more than ever now. I never knew that he was in a scottish punk rock band called “The Bastards From Hell”. I love punk rock, so that’s awesome to me. He also performed monologues early in his career under the name “Bing Hitler”. That’s ballsy, so I love it.

Reading his interview was great. He said “I’m not a late-night talk show host, I’m a guy who hosts a late-night talk show.” His whole interview is littered with “fuck this, fuck that, fuck you…” because that’s who he is. He’s such a punk rocker, and those features are what make him different. He’s so NOT a talk show host, and that’s what makes him a great one. I’m sick of the fake persona that Leno and Letterman have. I want someone genuine, like Craig or Conan. Those are the guys that I enjoy watching. Maybe when I’m old and wrinkled I’ll want to be lied to, and watch mundane bullshit. Wait, that’ll never happen, because I’ll never be a republican. Craig, I’d love to have a beer with you. Oh wait, scratch that, I can’t because you’re a recovering alcoholic. My bad, keep fighting the good fight.

Well, those are the winners. Stay tuned for more bullshit rants from me in the upcoming week, my fellow ragelaughers. Yeah, I like that. I think I’ll keep it.


About malf922

33 year old married guy. I write about whatever is bouncing around this head of mine at any given moment.

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