Segregation Still Exists
A couple of months ago, Oprah Winfrey’s talk show ended. Before I could let out a sigh of relief, due to one less shitty show that my wife watches being on the air, I learned that Oprah started her own television network, to fill the void left by her horrible show. Why? Why would Oprah want to start a new television network? Does she need the money to support her crack habit or something? Of course not, she’s either greedy or a workaholic. I’d believe either one of those answers, but that’s not why it bothers me.
The OWN channel bothers me because we have enough bad channels on cable TV that segregate people. We have Lifetime, Oxygen, Spike, G4, BET, Fox News, TRUtv for the mentally challenged, MTV for the maturity challenged, CMT aka The KKK Channel, and I’m sure there’s more. Are any of these channels even close to being good? Of course not!
Looking at the schedule for OWN today, there’s 3 hours of Dr Phil, followed by The Gayle King Show, followed by an hour long preview of Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O’Donnell’s new shows, followed by a Mystery Diagnosis marathon. That’s ironic that they threw 5 hours of Mystery Diagnosis in there, considering that if you’re forced to watch a full day of shows on this channel, your diagnosis is no mystery. I don’t need Dr House to tell me that I would be psychotic, with suicidal and homicidal tendencies.
And before my male readers get too happy, don’t. TV stations geared towards men are even worse than the period-inducing television that women watch. Spike TV very well may be the worst station there is. If it isn’t now, it certainly will be at the end of the year, when their contract with the UFC expires. With quality programming such as Repo Games, MANswers, Bar Rescue, Blue Mountain State, and a bunch of censored reruns of Entourage it is absolutely horrendous. (Entourage is great, but censoring Ari Gold is like taking the venom from a cobra)
Basically, any channel that appeals to only one sex or race always goes overboard, into the realm of ludicrousness. It’s either estrogen overload, testosterone overload, black overload, anti-black overload in the case of Fox News, etc. After I watch an episode of The Ultimate Fighter on Spike, with all of the beer commercials, big breasted women, and guys arm wrestling, there’s nothing I want more than a love poem and bubble bath, to counter-act the dudeness from the hour of masculinity I just absorbed. Sometimes, Spike TV is so manly that I feel like the victim of a prison rape after watching it. In the same manner, when I’m forced to watch HGTV with my wife, I immediately need a shot of whiskey and a movie like Roadhouse to cleanse my mind of the bitchery.
Horrible TV is just that, horrible.