I’ve gone on rants in the past about how I’m not a fan of vegans. I don’t hate the idea of people who don’t want to consume animals, I just dislike the attitude that most vegans have. They always seem self-righteous and condescending, almost as if they’re better than other people, just because we enjoy meat.

Last night, I learned a lot about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). While it may seem like an organization with good standards and practices, they are completely batshit crazy. Not only are they opposed to the consumption of animals and their byproducts, they’re opposed to things like animal testing for medical purposes, or even owning a pet.

Me and my wife have a couple of pets, and we love them very much. Let me correct that; she loves them very much, and I love the dog very much. I hate cats. But according to PETA’s beliefs, we are actually imprisoning our pets. So according to them, even though my dog goes ballistic the second I walk through the door, and jumps all over me and starts licking me to death, all while wagging his tail in glee, he is actually my prisoner. Sure we feed him, give him treats, we give him a roof over his head, we love him, and we saved him from being put down at the shelter, but we’re just prison guards. That’s funny, because last time I watched The Shawshank Redemption, the inmates didn’t seem too thrilled to be locked up, and wanted to escape. But when I leave the front door open to go check the mail or something, my dog just sits at the doorstep, and waits for me to come back.

And as far as medical testing goes, I don’t enjoy knowing that animals died to produce medicines and treatments, but I’m mature enough to understand that those are the necessary steps for saving lives. Yes, cows die to feed people, and their veins can be placed in the arms of dialysis patients (they’re larger, making dialysis possible), but cows are not as important as people. Animals were also tested on for diabetes medications. My grandmother was a diabetic, and if I had to kill a puppy for just one pill that she had to take daily to treat her diabetes, I would start each day by going out and killing a puppy with my bare hands. I love puppies, but they aren’t people.

The bottom line is that these PETA people are hyper-sensitive towards animals, and they are worrying about them too much, when there are plenty of other organizations that strive towards the improvement of human life that could use that kind of devotion. It doesn’t help that I’ve never seen an activist that isn’t a crazed lunatic, but if you’re going to have lunacy, use it towards a practical cause.

Since activists are having so much success garnering the attention of the media, I’ve decided to start my own organization, POETS (People Opposed to the Ethical Treatment of Simpletons). Our basic principle is to treat idiots, such as PETA supporters, the way that these morons do not want us to treat animals. You don’t want us to test medicine on animals? Ok, we’ll test it on you! One way or another, there are many solutions to problems in the world today that need animals to be tested on, to form the proper solution. If PETA succeeds in their cause, then POETS will be the necessary alternative. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals. They’re delicious.


About malf922

33 year old married guy. I write about whatever is bouncing around this head of mine at any given moment.

One response to “POETS”

  1. Annie (Camille) says :

    If i come across a real fanatic that’s driving me crazy, I tell them that I belong to PETA also…..People Eating Tasty Animals…..usually pisses them off so much, they shut up.

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