Some Things Can’t Be Taught, Only Learned
We were all young and stupid at one point in time. Even if you were a smart kid, you were still a complete nincompoop when it came to some things. For instance, I was a pretty smart kid. I’ve always been an above average learner, and my ability to make quick remarks always got me in trouble. As smart as I thought I was, I was an idiot when it came to the unteachable lessons that you learn in life. That’s because the only way to learn certain things is through experience.
The main focus of this little post is love. I don’t believe in destiny, fate, soul mates, or any of that nonsense, but I know that love exists. I may not believe that 2 people were placed on this planet exclusively for each other, but I know that if you build a bond and a foundation with someone who you’re very compatible with, a deep emotional connection builds, which is basically love in a nutshell. Unfortunately, love is the most commonly misdiagnosed thing in the world, and it’s usually misdiagnosed by the parties involved.
My prime example is young love. Has anyone ever not thought they were in love with their first boyfriend or girlfriend? I remember my first pseudo relationship with a girl, and when it ran it’s course, I was ready to die afterwards. Fortunately for myself, I found the remedy for heartbreak. That remedy was more heartbreak. The remedy for poison is more poison; just build up a tolerance. You see, when you begin dating, you have no idea what the end of a relationship feels like. 10 years later, you have an entire breakup routine organized. It’s not because you’re older, it’s because you’ve been down that road before. Luckily for me, I’ve only had my heart truly broken once, and I was 16 at the time, so even then it wasn’t serious. I had a truly stupid friend, who’s one moment of brilliance in his entire life was setting me up with another girl 2 weeks later, and it worked wonders. After I had a meaningless courtship with someone else for a few months, I learned the ropes of young dating. The basic lesson was that no matter how important a girlfriend may seem to me at that age, 99 out of 100 times, the person ends up being an insignificant chapter of your life. After you mature a bit and look back, most of the time you’re embarrassed at the way you behaved and felt about things.
It must be emphasized that age is not the deciding factor though, just experience. I know this to be true, because I know multiple people who got a late start on dating, and the breakup was just as painful for them as it was for the rest of us in our teenage years. The first time I saw it was from a coworker. He wasn’t a particularly attractive man, and his personality and intellect were equally lacking. One of his friends finally found his female match, and set them up. Within the first hour of their first date, he had already proclaimed his love for the girl. He was 25 years old, and behaved exactly like a 15 year old in the same situation. He ended up quitting his job a few weeks later, because his girlfriend called and said that she missed him, so he just walked out. I later came to learn that the same girl left this man for the guy who worked the salad bar with her at Sonny’s Barbecue Restaurant.
The second guy this happened to is a good friend of mine. His story has no stupidity involved, because he’s a smart guy, and he’s pretty mature. He’s 23 and friends with me. Those of you who know me know that I don’t tolerate immaturity, and I don’t hang out with a young crowd. This guy is the exception. Anyway, he got into his first real relationship around 20 years of age. I decided to be a wise ass, and look into my crystal ball for him. I told him that he’d be happier than he’s ever been in his entire life, and then she’d break up with him, and he would be miserable. Guess what happened? I’ll tell you what happened, the worst New Years Eve party in the history of mankind. Once he recovered (somewhat), he mentioned how I predicted his fate. As fascinated as he seemed to be, I’m no psychic. If you see a kid trying to stick a penny into an electrical socket, you can be pretty sure of how it’s going to end. Every young relationship involves one penny, and one socket.
My inspiration for writing this is because I was just on Facebook, and one of the recommended friends is my friend’s little brother, who just started dating his first real girlfriend. He’s 18, and I just took a look at his wall. The whole wall is pictures of them together, and posts like “I have the best girlfriend in the world.” and “No, I love you more.” As sickening as it is, and it’s quite nauseating, we’ve all been in that state of mind before.
The point is, none of these people can be taught anything by anyone else. You can sit one of these young lovers down, and tell them every story that you’ve ever heard, and even have video tapes documenting entire relationships, and they will not listen to a word you say. They will all think the same thing, “He doesn’t know me and my girlfriend. We really love each other.” No, you don’t love each other. You just think that you do. These kids can’t be taught, but they will learn. And since I can’t teach any of these stupid kids anything, I figured that I can write this, then show it to them after they get crushed, all while saying “Ha ha, I told you so!” Feel free to use this as a resource if needed. No copyright here, copy away. You’re welcome, world.