Oh, I’M the Asshole?!
I’m not sure when it started, but somewhere along the line I’ve developed a reputation for being the asshole of my group, but it’s untrue. I’m actually a nice person. Seriously, I am! I just have a hard time hiding my true feelings about some things, and certain people, so I don’t bother.
What qualifies someone as an asshole anyway? Is it your attitude towards life? Is it the way that you treat others? Is it your manners? Is it the way you dress? Is it your honesty, or lack thereof? Is it your ego? It’s probably a mixture of all of the above.
I know why I developed the reputation actually. It’s because ever since childhood, if I didn’t like, or had a problem with someone, I’d let it be known. I don’t know what triggered me to be this way, but I don’t regret it at all. I have problems with very few people anyway, so it’s not a big deal. I’m just a fan of honesty, so I tell it like it is. I hate when people are nice to someone, only to trash them as soon as they’re out of earshot, so I do my best to avoid doing that. Ask anyone who knows me; I’m not one to blow sunshine up your ass. If I say something nice to or about you, it’s because I mean it. I know, I’m a dick.
Another reason that I’ve been labeled this way is because I’m not afraid of confrontation. It’s true that I don’t shy away from an argument, but I never go looking for one. Yes, if someone needs to be talked to, I’ll do it. But, I don’t savor a fight. I just don’t like pussy-footing around something. I’ve only had maybe 2 real arguments with people all year, and 1 of those was with Brian, so that doesn’t even count.
Yet another reason that people see me in a negative light is because of the fact that other people’s opinions about me have no effect on me. Is that a bad thing? I thought that we weren’t supposed to care about that kind of thing, are we not? It’s not like I walk around telling people that I don’t care what they think either. I’m just unaffected by people’s comments, big deal. If I drew attention to myself, and then told people that I didn’t care what they thought, then yes, I’d be an asshole. For instance, people who dress ridiculously, with a bunch of piercings and tattoos, who claim to not care. They’re assholes. They say that they don’t care, but it’s so obvious that they do. My appearance is as average as can be. I draw no attention to myself, because I don’t care to.
Another reason that I’m not an asshole is because when I’m being an asshole, I know it. Have you ever talked to someone who is a total jerk, but has no idea that they’re this way? That’s a real asshole! All you hear is “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, me, me, me” yet these people seem to think that they’re totally fine. If I’m being an asshole, I’m the first one to admit it. If you’re an asshole, but you have no idea that you’re an asshole, that makes you a super asshole.
No, I’m not a super popular guy. I don’t have hundreds of friends, I don’t always aim to please, and I’m not always super nice to everyone. That’s just the way I am. The bottom line is that I try to be positive about life, I show respect to others until given a reason not to, I’m polite, I don’t attract attention to myself, I’m honest, and I don’t have an ego. I’m not an asshole!
About a year ago, someone I know referred to me as an asshole, as if it were my pet name or something. The funny thing is that the person who did this is a total asshole, far worse than me. “Wait, I’m the asshole?!” Maybe people like to project onto someone who doesn’t really care. Maybe I’m misunderstood. Maybe I am an asshole. Maybe you’re an asshole. Maybe people should stop giving a shit, and worry about themselves. Maybe I should stop writing now.